One Year Anniversaries

January 2014

Anniversaries mark so many things. Events, changes (good and bad). Birthdays, graduations, marriages, new jobs. Buying a house, meeting a new friend, starting fresh. 

They mark times, both happy and sad, in our lives that shape who we become. They create a sequence of events through which we can replay everything. When you recall your life, you are bringing all of these anniversaries to the surface. We spend our days looking forward to reaching new milestones, but still remembering the ones we've already met. 

Thanksgiving 2013 marked one year since my diagnosis and first surgery. It was the one year anniversary of a massive wrench being thrown into my life's gears, causing every bit of it to come the a screeching halt, never to be repairable, only able to have its course changed. 

I can still feel the cold breeze that was blowing as I stood outside on the phone with Katzen Eye, making that appointment. The shake in my hands. The sound of the elevator as it took me to a floor of a building where my life would change. The burn of the eye drops. The bright lights illuminating what I didn't know I had. The sound of the doctor's voice. And at the end, the silence. The silence of the entire floor as my mind went numb with fear. Every needle stick, every eye drop, every pill. It's still so fresh. But with every bitter memory, there is a sweet one. A gentle voice of a nurse, a reassuring hug, a get well card, genuine care. 

And now, one year later, I've shared a year of my life with anyone who wanted to listen. Why do we share our lives? With strangers? Is it inherent in all of us to share life, to propagate it to others? Everyone has a story. A beginning, an end. And all that time in between. Your "anniversaries;" they create your unique story. The people you meet along the way, they all become characters in your story. 

The time since my diagnosis is full of firsts. Firsts that have now become anniversaries. Good and bad, they've happened. Holiday memories riddled with doctor's appointments, pain, medicine, and the inability to enjoy things. So this year we were determined to make it yet another year of firsts. The first holiday since my surgeries. The best holiday since my surgeries. It was scary to think that it had already been a year since everything changed. But here's to it being better.

And now we're well into the new year; and while this week last year was spent receiving the recovery equipment that has now given me PTSD every time I see a massage chair, I'm happy to say that this one year anniversary of my second surgery is being spent in a far better state. It will never fade, the memory of what happened and how, well, traumatic, it was; that will always be there. 

My retina is still attached, but my cataract is really bad. It's much worse in daylight and bright light. Cataract surgery will be some time down the road, but inevitable. Although at this point, cataract surgery seems like a walk in the park compared to anything else I have had done to my eyes.

Thanks again for everyone's support over the past year and few months. Let's hope the only updates I post to this blog are positive ones!

And now here's a skateboarding cat, because who doesn't want to see that?! Click here!