Week 4 Post Op: Ending 2012

December 21, 2012 - December 27, 2012

Days 22 - 28: "Live your life."

Christmas was hard this year. Prior to Thanksgiving, I had planned out what I wanted to make for everyone, everything I wanted to do. I couldn't do any of it. 

I enjoyed the holiday, but through pain. It was probably the best Christmas yet though, it really was. I appreciated things more than in years past. Things were slowly getting better physically. This was a traumatic surgery, more than I realized since I had yet to actually watch and find out what they did to it. 

Grumpy cat sums up how I was acting and feeling:

Ryan always says, the poor cat is
just misunderstood.

I was still feeling like everyday I was seeing a new flash or floater. Still worrying, but getting a little better. Maybe? I'm not too sure. At some point all the days blended together. It all feels like a big blister of anxiety and frustration at this point that thankfully is in the past. I just wanted it to pop and go away for good.

Thursday morning arrives. 

No appetite. 

"Shallow, persistent subretinal fluid."

You're kidding me. 

"I'm not quite ready to give up on this yet, but if we don't see an improvement next week, we need to start thinking about the surgery."

Why? 

That was a question that I asked myself CONSTANTLY. Why me? Why now? Why at all? I don't think there is an answer to that. Or maybe this answer is this. Exactly what I'm doing now. Sharing this with all of you. Perhaps. 

I look at the doctor, "We have a chance to go to a great event in Towson for New Year's Eve; Charm City countdown at the Sheraton and we have free tickets. Will I be okay to go to that? To do stuff?"

"Please, do! Live your life."

I decided, yes, I will. Poor Ryan came down with a nasty cold the day after Christmas though... but he would be better by New Year's. Just in time...

Marriage: you will share everything. EVERYTHING.